At 11 months old, Sara Ellen’s head doesn’t quite reach the top of the tv cabinet. Her fingers are just in range, I imagine the button guard went up soon. I saw this photo randomly on our gallery and wanted to compare it to one recently taken.
At about 29 months old, Sara Ellen is tall enough to reach almost anything in our house! Look how long those legs have grown!
In my most recent Parenting Newsletter from AskDrSears.com there are three great links appropriate for celebrating Mother’s Day and the incredible job of mothering and allowing children to grow into their best self. Here are two links on enabling Mother to be her best self and text from Dr. Bill and Martha’s new book, 25 Things Every New Mother Should Know.
In response to a national campaign instructing parents never to keep an infant in their bed, the doctors continues to educate parents on safe co-sleeping practices.
For mothers to be at their best personally and as a parent we need to avoid burnout that can come with giving so much.
25 Things Every Mother Should Know
Written by Martha and Bill Sears
A few paragraphs from the chapter “The Perfect Mother?”
It’s not that you should never clean; some order is necessary for your sanity. Just keep the ideal of the perfect house in its place. You may need to encourage your husband to lower his standards, take on a bigger share of the work, or both. You should both remember that all the gorgeous homes you see in magazines and all the perfectly kept yards you drive past on the way to the grocery store probably don’t belong to people who are trying to juggle housekeeping and caring for a new baby. Try to take the long perspective. Someday your children will grow up and move out and you can have a perfect house – if you still want one. No one on her deathbed ever wished she had spent more time cleaning, and no one on her deathbed ever regretted spending too much time with her children.
If your perfectionist tendencies are surfacing now that you’ve become a mother, relax and ease up on yourself. Chances are, you’re doing the best that you can do, given the circumstances of the moment and the resources available to you. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you’re not good enough. If you are enjoying your baby and feeling that you really know and understand her, you’ve definitely got the hang of motherhood. Savor each moment of your baby’s life for what it is, instead of thinking of something more that could be done. If you stay tuned in to your baby most of the time, you’ll be the mother that your baby needs – a far better thing to aspire to than some distorted vision of perfection.
The scripture and sermon yesterday, Ephesians 4:22-32 “Words That Bring A Blessing”, struck a cord in me. Usually my words are pretty clean, but occassionally when I’m really annoyed (sadly it’s always small) I’ll swear to myself, I hate it. Normally I have good expectations for Sara Ellen’s behavior but there are times I’m not up to the task and use my angry voice. She doesn’t like it and says “not the voice!” It always makes me think of Jesus and how he is perfectly patient with us and I realize how amazing he is.
The scripture:
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore each of your must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are stilly angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slanfer, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each, other just as Christ forgave you.
I am not having the best day this Monday, nothing special to do and no inspiring plan to carry out. This kind of day makes me prone to anger and ungentleness. I am sarcastic at times and I realize it’s not humor, but untruths that make the receiver feel defensive, embarrased, and perhaps a little malicious. I tend to use sarcasm when I am surprised they ask what sounds like a dumb question because they are uninformed or make an obvious request/statement. This scripture requires we “put away ALL falsehood”. That’s a pretty tall order and like not swearing, requires more thought and gentleness. If I’m asked a question that would elicit a sarcastic answer, I have to stop, breath and think of an appropriate answer. This process is the same when I’m angry so I do not speak what will hurt and tear apart someone I love.
The pastor began his sermon with Matthew 12:36-37. “But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgement for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be aquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” He said he would be a fool to judge someone in such a way but that these are not his own words, but Christ’s and not to say them would be foolish. I can only thank God that I am forgiven of all my sinful words and actions. Even on a gloomy, unhappy day, I can know this joy.
I was looking at photos on Facebook and a friend asked “when did all the [R-MWC] alums get married and start having babies?”. It’s weird being at that age and I thought I’d compile a little list. Feel free to help me correct or add.
Liz Sundby c/o 2000 married Kevin Hass in 1999. They have Sydney and Savannah.
Sarah-Anne Laster c/o 2004 married Stan Kielczewski in 2004. Baby Sebastian was born Jan 2008.
Kristen Ollock c/o 2001 married Brian Tyler in 2004.
Tracy Earley c/o 2004 married Jay Proffitt in 2004. Adilee Jo was born Apr/2008.
Rebekah Myers c/o 2002 married Joseph Baljet in 2004. They have Katherine 08/05 and Gabriella 01/07.
Devon Kennedy c/o 2004 married Rich Connaroe in 2004. They have Lucas, born 2/07 and Meredith Brooke born 4/08.
Myself c/o 2003 married Tim Altman in 2004. We have Sara Ellen, born 12/05.
Dalia Ortega c/o 2003 (my first roommate - transfered out) married Artie Catalano in 2004. Alessandra Veronica was born 1/13/08.
Sara Caswell c/o 2004 married Nathan Draughn in 2006.
Katie Smith c/o 2005 married Pete Flynn.
Allison Sterrett c/o 2003 married Joe Krause.
Ana DeLeon c/o 2003 (transferred out in 2000) married.
Alanna Valdez c/o 2003 married Armon Taylor Jan 2, 2008!
I read an article last weekend in USA Weekend considering how times have changed when it comes to the financial status of large families. It really resonated with me because I would love to have another child but it would be a bit irresponsible now. We are pretty cramped in a bedroom in my parent’s house. It would not be fair to anyone to bring another person into the house. We’re paying rent, though less than average for the area to help out while we live there and need to be on steadier ground to afford a place of our own - house or apartment.
In the article it talked about how in the past, lower income families were known for having many children because they could bring in extra income (before compulsory childhood education) or perhaps because there was no [access to] contraceptives. Now it seems families who struggle financially are making wiser choices to scale down on family size in order to have more resources available for each person’s needs. The financially wealthy however, have plenty of resources and feel free to increase their family size and share what is hopefully the joyful luxury they live in.
While I was trying to find the link for the USA Weekend article, I came upon something similar in the Times Online, an online UK and world news source. Their article admonished the poor in the UK to consider doing what the previous article claimed is being done in the USA, consider what you have to provide to your offspring before you bring children into the world.
It is wise advice and it is something we are doing. Both Tim and I grew up in comfortable households and I imagine expected, or at least hoped to have that ourselves. We’re young, and slow starting out but whatever kind of life we lead, I know it will be full of joy. I believe that whatever the reason is that I cannot see, God has a plan for us. It has always been my dream to have a family, of at least two children, and I believe it will happen at the right time for us. For now I will be thankful for the generosity and love our families, and will pass it on to our beautiful daughter.
Sunday afternoon we took advantage of a very nice day in Washington D.C. to see the Cherry Blossom Trees in bloom with Tim’s mother. She was up for the weekend so we found some cool things going on around here, including a Family Fun Day at the Maryland Department of Agriculture on Saturday.
On Sunday the air was a little cold and the sky was overcast but it was really a perfect day to walk around with throngs of other tourists from near and far. We had lunch at the Holocaust Museum Cafe. It serves vegetarian dishes, plus tuna sandwiches and salmon. They do not serve meat because the cafe is not under rabbinic supervision so the meat could not be classified kosher. It was only a short walk away to the circle of blossoming trees around the Tidal Basin. There were buds not yet blossomed but I could hardly tell. It was a beautiful sea of pale pink above and multi-colored tourists below. Many folks were paddle-boating on the water in front of the Jefferson Memorial. Tim used his snazzy new camera to get great shots. I requested only one among all the candids he got, me nursing Sara Ellen at the base of a Cherry Blossom Tree. She’d had a drink on the metro (where we “debate” the no food or drink rule) on the way in and it was time for a quiet drink with Mommy. As I sat down I though aloud to my mother-in-law, “talk about nursing in public.” I have breastfed Sara Ellen pretty much whenever she requested since she was born whether in public or not. Nowadays she can wait or take a substitute whether at home or out. She likes to “drink mommy” so we take our “quiet time” to help her adjust and connect, or just to snuggle. At home sometimes she nurses to sleep for naptime or quiettime. When we’re out sometimes we find a truly quiet place like the family room in our mall. On Sunday we sat at the base of a blooming cherry blossom tree and had a moment. We had a great seat directly across from the Jefferson Memorial, I could clearly see the silouette of the statue. When Sara Ellen was finished she climbed up and galloped away.
I believe that she will happily stop nursing when she is ready. I feel the same way about toilet habits and many other stages, she will make her way when she is ready and confident. I love to watch her try new things, she grows more capable and adventurous all the time. Though I can’t say I’m thrilled when she can unlock the door and run outside or put dvd’s and tapes into the players… you want your child to grow into an independent being, but it gets a little nutty.
Beuful - beautiful
“No I’m beuful” (No, I’m not beautiful. Everyone has days where they don’t feel beautiful.)
Peedoo - Computer.
Mesnages - Messages
“Check the mesnages on the peedoo.”
Meme: an idea, project, statement or even a question that is posted by one blog and responded to by other blogs. … Blog tag from Tim.
Where is your mobile phone?
bedroom
Describe your girlfriend(s):
alumnae
Your hair:
unstyled
Your mother:
goofy
Your father:
retired
What is your favourite gadget?
cellphone
What did you dream last night?
travel
What do you prefer to drink?
chai
Dream car?
bigger
What room are you currently in?
Living
Your ex?
married
Your biggest fear?
leaving
What do you want to be in 10 years?
dancing
Who did you spend last night with?
family
What are you not?
mathematical
The last thing you did?
snuggle
What are you wearing?
gray
Favorite book?
yikes
The last thing you ate?
nuts
Your life?
transitional
Your mood?
average
Your best friends?
south
What are you thinking about right now?
lots
Your car?
unsure
What are you doing right now?
responding
Your Summer?
norway?
Marital status?
ideal
What is on your TV right now?
reflection
When did you last laugh?
recently
When did you last cry?
sunday
School?
sad
Sara Ellen is, to my relief, a willing new dental patient. I called a couple months ago because we were concerned about some brown spots in her molars. We went to our first appointment last Thursday and confirmed our concern. The bad news, she has weak enamel and needs fillings and some fancy-words work to protect her baby teeth from decay. The great news is both Sara Ellen and I love Dr. Maya Vernon and Liz the dental assistant of Collins and Associates Pediatric Dentistry in Annapolis. If you are familiar with the mall area, it is in the same building as Nighttime Pediatrics on Generals Highway across from the mall. And they love Sara Ellen right back!
I got a letter today, a xeroxed, though hand addressed copy, from Ms. McGehee. This is the second she has sent to R-MWC dance alumnae requesting financial help to save the artwork which has been sold to bring income. As an dancer she knows that the excitement of dance lives in the moment it is performed. She wants to help save those works of art which give permanent testament to our past. Contributions to save the art can be sent to:
Preserve Educational Choice
P.O. Box 29612
Richmond, VA 23242
Mark “Art Defense Fund”
The best part of the letter in my opinion is the list of Helen’s credentials. She is a small but intimidating woman, and I have always been in awe of who she is and what she has done.
Helen McGehee, R-MWC class of 1942
Principal dancer Martha Graham Dance Company 1942 - 1971. Helen met Martha when she performed at R-MWC in Smith Hall Theater!
Founding faculty member Juilliard Dance Division 1953 - 1982
Founder of R-MWC Visiting Artist Program in Dance 1971. Dance friends at other schools are part of amazing dance departments/divisions but I am so thankful to have been a part of our department. Working with so many wonderful artists provided such a range of experience.
Professor of Dance 1971 - 1986
