I was raised on, and have subscribed to the Attachment Parenting philosophy. Probably the easiest way to describe it is learning and responding to Baby’s/Child’s cues. For me, life has been easiest when Sara Ellen slept with, or near me, breastfed when she requested, and was worn (or held). I also agree with the La Leche League mantra that breastfeeding works best when it’s beneficial to both mother and baby. This also applies to the previous parenting actions.
Obviously, things have changed some as Sara Ellen has grown. She is now my nursing toddler, so she eats lots of other foods but still loves “mommy milk” a few times during the day. She loves to run around on her own, though she still rides in Ergo Baby Carrier from time to time. She also still has a place in our bed though she has her own “little bed”. The latter is what has changed for the so-much-better this week.
As I said, she still loves breastfeeding. But it is beneficial for me to refuse at times and steer her onto other food or another activity (funny how nursing is both). Infants are wired to nurse at times during the night, that’s just how they are made. However, Sara Ellen carried that habit into toddlerhood. I’m the type of parent who enables her child to grow at their own pace, move into new stages without force. HOWEVER, I don’t sleep as soundly as I did when she was an infant and she no longer just nurses and falls asleep, she likes to go back and forth. The latching on wakes me up, and if it keeps happening… I don’t wake up rested. I become quick to annoy and prone to use the loud scolding voice Sara Ellen does not like. Instead of bright-eyes and bushy tailed, it’s more like bushy-eyed.
This past Wednesday, we had a night like that and had a horrible morning. Absolutely horrible. I know that it is possible for her to fall asleep without nursing so I decided that night I would make a change. Into that choice, I included trying to get her back into her own bed. I tried it several months ago with a fit of crying on her part and that’s what happened. I don’t like “crying it out” but at least I was with her. I hoped she would fall asleep. After a while there was a knock at the door and my mother reported she could not sleep so I grudgingly brought Sara Ellen in to bed. I was still determined not to nurse her to sleep because that encourages the nursing through the night. Instead I told her stories and such. She was worn out already and went to sleep. I think I may have nursed her once during the night but just once and she went back to sleep. We woke up in the morning, both bright-eyed!!! She had her morning milk, which I’m not opposed to, and our day went well. I repeated the no-nursing bedtime Thursday, but without the forcing her stay in her bed. She didn’t want stories so I sang Veggie Tales songs. At some point she rolled over and went to sleep! I think I actually stayed up and read, and woke sometime around 4 and couldn’t fall back to sleep but that was my head and the weather’s fault. Another good morning. And a third!!!
I have heard stories of parents deciding to get their baby to sleep alone in their crib and how they feel so refreshed after a good night’s sleep. While I won’t force that on any future children, I am so glad to have found a bedtime routine that works for us now!!! I’m sure when Tim comes home tomorrow and experiences these results, he’ll be relieved as well.
