Fabulous Growing Mind
“It’s the questions, the questions that drive [me]… nutty.”
I know Sara Ellen is at a stage where she is learning a lot and learning how to apply it all, but all Sara Ellen’s questions, telling us what to do, it makes me nutty sometimes. I try not to be frustrated and short with her. I used to try to answer all her questions so she would understand, but I just can’t explain everything anymore and honestly, I’m not sure she cares about the answers.
She just wants to know everything, when she’s paying attention. A lot of the time it’s with movies and tv shows, even when it’s age appropriate. I believe she would find the answer is she were really paying attention. Maybe I’m expecting too much, but I don’t think so. I’m with her all the time and I’ve seen her take things in and ask intuitive questions. She amazes me, so when she isn’t thinking this way, it frustrates me. In the movie “13 Going on 30″, Jenna is entertaining all the 13 year olds and they ask why she can’t be with Matt. She tells them, “it’s a grown up thing”. In that case, I always feel it’s a simple answer, “because he’s going to marry someone else”. Especially at thirteen, they should understand. Perhaps they’d have other follow-up questions but in that scene, and with Sara Ellen, I believe it’s worthwhile to try to answer. So what’s really frustrating me is when she asks questions to which she could find her own answer. I do often ask her to do so, asking what it looks like, what she thinks, encouraging her to think before she speaks.
Like many her age, she is also telling people what to do, or not do. It can be annoying or inappropriate but she takes in so much and then applies those rules in context, though it may not apply to the particular person. At home she may tell us we can’t do something or have something. Honestly, I don’t like telling her I can do or have something because I’m a grown up, I’m the mother, or because I said so. I’ll just have to focus on it not being appropriate for someone her age. At times that works, but when I’m having something I want but won’t let her, it doesn’t seem fair, usually this applies to treats. When you’re grown, you can make your own choices. We can’t always do what we want and there are restrictions, just different from when we’re kids. I also try to help her understand that it’s not her responsibility to tell others to do or not do something, unless it’s a hurtful or disrespectful action or word.
She is truly such an amazing person, kind-hearted, friendly, and bright. I love watching her learn. As we are all learning to be a family of four I have to remind myself that she needs more from me than just food and entertainment, she needs personal, sister-free time. I forget this, until it happens. That kind of time affirms our relationship and brings us closer, farther from the busy distracted world.
I hate questions too. Like “why does that lady have a boot on her foot? why are they wearing a helmet? why are they in a wheelchair?” you can imagine how difficult it is to explain some things…like the helmet one (for babies with seizure issues, ect)