Welcoming Eliza
Pregnancy is such a waiting game, a wondering game. You get all the rest you can, complete those little tasks that are necessary or the less important ones that might be forgotten later. You wait as the date nears, wondering when baby will come. You can’t know, and then all of a sudden, everything changes and looking back to just the day before is humorous.
I spent last week doing small errands, resting, and doing what I could with Sara Ellen. Sunday was our first visit to Campbell’s Farmers Market. Monday we did some shopping: finding a huge deal on DIY baby announcements & other helpful items, then playing with the announcement template a little uselessly. Tuesday we made returns, getting money back and taking my slow walk through the mall. Wednesday Sara Ellen had gymnastics while I sat uncomfortably on a hard chair wondering if the other expectant mother had delivered – she hadn’t been in recently. Thursday Sara Ellen woke up with a fever so Tim stayed home while I went to my 37-week appointment. Again I was given the option of being checked for dilation. I almost accepted because I had been getting more and more uncomfortable in general and especially when in bed. I may have asked her to but then remembered that I needed to get home so Tim could still participate in iWalk at work. I spent the rest of the day trying not to over-exert myself while caring for a very warm little girl. She was cooling down in the evening and we got into bed maybe around 10.
At 1am I got up to use the bathroom. I don’t know if that’s what woke me, or my discomfort. In the bathroom I discovered my water had very much broken. I was trying to figure how to tend to myself, then trying to calm my sobs because being early, we didn’t have our intended help. In this state I was trying to communicate to Tim what had happened, why I was upset, and what we needed to do (find out which midwife was on call and contact her). I had calmed down and quickly got myself together. I had packed at least a week ago, made a list of what to add, and knew that I’d be staying at the hospital because I had just found out at the appointment that I was Group B Strep positive and would have to receive penicillin every four hours to avoid passing it to, and infecting the baby on her way out (it wouldn’t harm myself or anyone else but her). Tim was a little dazed because he had recently gone to sleep and wasn’t sure what to pack for himself. I got myself together and then things for Sara Ellen. The midwife, Lin, said she would let the nurses know I was coming and could be at the hospital herself in 15 minutes when I needed her. I went to wake Sara Ellen who was already waking herself to use the bathroom. Her fever was down but now she had diarhea! It was 2am when we left, with nobody to watch our sickie. It wasn’t a problem for the nurses that she came, but being potentially contagious was.
It took some time to get hooked up with penicillin. The fact that they tried and failed to get the line in one hand was a small but uncomfortable setback. I have tiny veins and usually it’s easier to find one in my right arm, but they were using a hand and I wasn’t sure if it might be different. It wasn’t. I told a second nurse and she was able to get it in. Thankfully the medicine didn’t burn as they warned it might. Contractions began on their own, fairly soon and just a noticible tightening. Around five or so they were getting stronger and Sara Ellen had used the toilet and was using up the extra clothes I brought so we agreed Tim should see who he could find to help. I was also having to use the bathroom frequently, either during or after a contractions. Around 5:30 they were much stronger and took more concentration. I had called Lin. She encouraged me to use a low voice to get through, she rubbed my shoulders, and brought pillows while I felt most comfortable on the toilet. Especially with Tim still gone, it was a huge comfort having her there, she was my hero that morning. Lin told a nurse it seemed like I was transitioning. They hadn’t even checked dilation, every time they wanted to I was in the middle of a contraction. When I finally got off the toilet, I lay on my side on the bed. I had told Tim he needed to come and very soon I was pushing. With Sara Ellen I felt the need to push and I was a relief when the nurses told me to go ahead. This time it was just hard work, no relief, I wanted it over. I am so grateful my body works so quickly. I wasn’t sure if Sara Ellen’s speedy delivery was because of the pitocin or nature. As I was pushing, on my side the whole time, Lin had me biting a pillow so I would channel energy into pushing instead of noise. She used some sort of gel to help the the perenium to stretch, especially since I had some scar tissue from last time. Eliza finally arrived.
I was so grateful she was early. I had been getting more and more uncomfortable, and wasn’t sure how I could get any bigger! I was so grateful to Lin, she was a huge encourager. I did tear a little and needed stitches but for anyone who has heard of episiotomies and thinks they are normal, please listen. A natural tear heals much easier than a precise cut. If you cut your knee, the skin it able to knit itself back together. Any kind of thin knife-cut takes longer to heal. I experienced a lot more post-partum pain last time. The stitches may have come out, but I was hurting one way or another for a very long time.
Eliza was put on my chest immediately. As much as I’d always wanted that, knowing how trying to breastfeed from the start was beneficial, it seemed a little gross. It wasn’t. They dried her off and her warm little body was snuggled onto me. It was wonderful. She even began to nurse quickly, and she was so good at it. It’s truly incredible, worth getting past labor to experience.
Tim had finally been able to get in touch with our landlord neighbor and rushed back. Even so, he just missed the birth. I was holding our newest little one, and Lin delivering the placenta, when he returned. After Sara Ellen, I was on a high, enough to joke withe the doctor stitching the episiotomy cut which tore. I do remember that the pressing on my belly to deliver the placenta and clear out everything else was uncomfortable, both times. I wouldn’t say I was on a high this time, but so grateful for everything: for Lin’s help, Eliza’s warm little body, and Tim by my side. It was perhaps for the best that Sara Ellen was sick. Had she been well, Tim still would likely have been out of the room, my work would have been too much for her and then he would have needed to care for her instead of being with me. Though I spent much of that first hour fairly uncomfortable, Eliza and Tim’s presence calmed me.
After that hour, Tim went with her to the nursery and I was helped to the bathroom and wheeled to a maternity room. The nurse helping then, Mona, seemed a little bungling. I felt she could have been gentler with my IV which was now pumping pitocin (I think to help the uterus) instead of penicillin. Also, the machine it was attached to would start beeping loud saying a connection was wrong. She “thought” it would be okay to remove. Thought? “Should you check to make sure??” The second time it happened she went ahead with the removal. I had a rotation of nurses until midday Sunday and thankfully didn’t see her again.
Dad made reservations for Mom and Emily to come out Saturday night but until then Tim still had to find a sitter so he could come see us. Again, it was better that Sara Ellen was sick and couldn’t visit because, though I missed her, it gave us quiet time together. And for that, I am grateful to the Washam’s, our landlord neighbors, and to Sara Grignon, Tim’s boss’ wife, whom Sara Ellen has met a few times and really likes. I am also grateful to my family who were more than willing to cancel other plans, miss other special events, to be here for us.
As much as we wonder as parents-to-be, it’s better that we don’t know the future. That knowledge would negatively change our perspective. Trusting that God has a plan for you, it gives hope and perseverance and the ability to see the incredible blessings He performs when you can’t see how a situation will work out.
Amen to that! I am glad everything went well for you. You brought back very real memories for my laboring. I am so happy Eliza is healthy and home with your family. She is so beautiful!