Review of Events
Now that I’ve got my wits about me, I can recognize what is was about today that really upset me. The hormones and confusion alone was enough but it goes deeper than that.
As I’ve said, I love the midwife system here and all those women I’ve been in contact with have been wonderful! Kari Janne is great, Dr. Tine too, the midwife who did the ultrasound in July, another midwife from the health station where we see Kari Janne who I spoke to on the phone when I was having frequent Braxton Hicks contractions and occassional pelvic pains was reassuring and told me what to do if it changed to something more labor-like, and even Elisabeth Berge who I’ve spoken to once and will lead the course next week. The woman from today, as Tim showed me, was the exception among all these great, calm, helpful women. I haven’t had any other language problems or any one else make me feel nervous.
One thing that can be risky during pregnancy, perhaps especially a first, is reading all those books available. I’ve read two on pregnancy in general, What to Expect… and Birthing From Within, and one specifically about breastfeeding, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. I have even read one Mom sent Tim called Becoming a Father. I really liked it for it’s male perspective and the birth and parenting wisdom. It helped me to clarify the reasons why I believe certain ways to raise children are best. I hold my parenting ideals adamantly but I needed to know exactly why it’s best in order to answer inevitable questions. WtE does have some useful information but I found that many of the questions asked and answered “portrayed” women who had no faith in the way their body works and everything seemed like a crisis. Sure, I was curious of stuff and wondered what it meant, but I knew that pregnancy would bring discomfort and sometimes odd changes. In BFW, the author talks a lot about birth art and how it can help a woman to envision the pregnancy she wants or to voice her emotions and frustrations from a previous birth experience. I’m not a big fan of the birth art thing, though it did help me to develop my Tigress viewpoint to hold anyone at bay who would try to make me act again my instinct. The book did help me to clarify the things I want and the information that “everyone” talks about but rarely objectively. One thing that is unfortunately common are the traumatic “horror stories” that are for some reason told more frequently than the joyful stories (women who dealt with the pain but focus on the gain). Sadly, there were many of these in BFW. Often the bad stories were followed by the better story but it’s the scary ones that stick in your mind. This happened to me too. I think my first baby experience will be very different here than it would be in the States but I still have the stories in my head and want to avoid the bad stuff. My pregnancy has been really easy and I don’t rely so heavily on all the stuff I hear but today, when the midwife kept repeating the words epidural and acupuncture (I know it’s suppose to be relaxing or something but I don’t want needles in me and peace of mind is more important to me than ease and comfort), I had visions of being forced to accept something I didn’t want and not being able to trust my body to work and deliver my baby. But, as everything seemed lost in translation with her, I need to remember Kari Janne’s words that we are viewed as capable strong adults who can make honorable decisions.
p.s. I do actually recommend BFW despite the bad stories
I know how confusion can make you feel, most days are good, but every once in a while it takes its toll the not understanding and not being understood, especially being pregnant i imagine. It’s nice and needed to cry and release the emotion and then once your head’s clear its better. Your mother will be there soon, which will be so nice and comforting and then your beautiful baby and family, it’ll be such a great christmas!!! I’m excited for you!