Punched in the Gut
This afternoon, all day really, Sara Ellen and I went shopping. We took a beautiful “The Kiss” by Klimt print to Michael’s to get reframed (let’s just say “thank goodness it was on sale”) and went to Target. After lunch and a movie at home we headed back out. Sara Ellen hasn’t taken a nap in at least a week! That means she goes to sleep earlier. She’s even been letting us leave while she gets to sleep on her own! (Big step!) This afternoon we got some necessary items with Christmas Credit (thank you) at Bed, Bath, and Beyond and then hung out at Barnes and Noble for a while.
While Sara Ellen was looking around (and wearing a Clifford backpack), I checked out the pre-K workbooks. It’s been my aim since sometime after her birth to homeschool her and I think it’s time to start a little. I found some books that seem good but do they qualify as homeschool materials? Later on in my wanderings (and waiting), I stumbled on Parent/Teacher resources with several books for homeschooling. Here’s where the punch comes in.
I thought about homeschooling and the enormous undertaking it is. It’s scary. I am not sure I am cut out for it. And yet I still think it is better for Sara Ellen to learn in her own time in the ways that grab her attention most. Yes, it would be easier to let someone else do the planning but would she be better off? By that time we will likely have another child so I would still be a full-time mother. Even if I sent Sara Ellen off to school, I wouldn’t be at home twiddling my thumbs. On the other hand, I’d have to manage planning a “curriculum”, and mothering both children!
There are so many books that are supposed to be helpful but what would work the best for us? There is so much to learn. How do I decide what to teach her? Just what she is most interested in? Do we do curriculum workbooks and/or adapt a necessary lesson into a more interesting task or game?
Then there are state-by-state guidelines to follow to make sure your child is learning “legally”. (*rolls eyes*) Compulsory schooling age in Virginia is 5 – 18. To teach at home you have to have a high school diploma and 1)being under a correspondance program or 2) having a teaching certificate or 3)hire a private tutor. There is also something about stating a religious purpose.
I didn’t homeschool myself so I don’t have that background, though think I probably have that in common with many parents guiding their children in study. I know many of families have done this. Some of them have published their stories, or have at least shared their experiences online or elsewhere. This is my experience.
homeschooling has it’s ups and downs. over all i think it was rewarding and made me the person i am today. it’s up to interpretation as to whether that’s a good thing ; ) one downside is, depending on how you do things, the child may not know the same things that other kids their age do, but they’ll know different things. they have the opportunity to study at their own pace which can keep them interested. another downside is that some homeschooled kids have bad social kids. emily and i had different social skills. i’ve met other kids that had really BAD social skills. but emily and i have just always been different people, which is why it was good that we were homeschooled. speaking for myself, it took me many years to be comfortable interacting with other people in a way that felt honest. when i say that i mean that i could interact because i had to, i could do what i had to do. but i wasn’t necessarily being myself because maybe i didn’t know who i was. i think most people do this for most of their life. i was able to get over this at a pretty young age. i think i had to be comfortable with myself to a degree before i could be comfortable with other people. i think this was the greatest thing i got from homeschooling: i believe i knew more about myself, my own mind and my own spirit, at a much younger age than most people. homeschooling gave me the time i needed to discover myself (to a degree) which i’m glad i did before i really started to discover the world.
the hardest part is that you can never know what’s best for sarah ellen. you can only do what you believe to be best for her. whether what you do ends up being best for her is for her to judge when she’s old enough to discover that for herself. don’t get me wrong, you and tim have a better idea than anyone concerning what she should do. right now she has no idea, but someday she’ll understand herself better than anyone else does. that’s when she’ll be ready to make her own decisions. but for now you have to do that for her, and you are better suited for that than anyone. i think i was ready to make my own decisions at a younger age than most people, and i think our parents recognized that and their trust in that has let me continue to grow. some people need their parents to tell them what to do well into their adulthood. but this maturity is due to the decisions that our parents made in my education and how they raised me.
i guess what i’m trying to say is that you’ll be able to figure out what you should do, because you’re smart. but it’s still a big responsibility. so there you go. maybe you knew all that already. and maybe i’m wrong. i’m at the best unorganized in my reply. but again, there you go. that’s just my two cents.
Bekah (and Tim, too),
You may want to look into the school system in Cville/Albemarle county before you make a final decision about home-schooling versus sending her to school. For example, Cincinnati has both neighborhood schools and “magnet” schools (even for kindergarten) that may suit your purpose. We have several PUBLIC Montessori schools, and I know many families who couldn’t afford private school whose children are nevertheless getting a self-directed educational experience in the Montessori environment. You may want to look into some of the ‘alternative’ educational practices that are available within the school system and see if any of them would mimic what you might do as a home-school practice. You can always supplement at home after school if you think something is lacking (like religious ed).
You also probably need to consider whether Sara Ellen is a self-directed learner who can handle a home-school environment in a few years. (or, for that matter, a Montessori environment). Some children really thrive on being able to explore what they are interested in, but some children don’t – the structure of a more traditional school program is better for them. So you need to take her temperment into account, and continually reassess whether she is thriving in the situation you have chosen for her.
I’m not a strong advocate of home-schooling, though I know many people who are. My best friend growing up was homeschooled one year, and she basically took a year’s sabbatical. The break was nice for her but she didn’t learn much! And Joe’s got two cousins who were homeschooled. A few years ago I helped the elder one with his college application essays. They were positively appalling. I think that’s because, like Michael said above, home-schooled kids learn what the parents know well. In Clee’s case, he learned a lot about computers, and about running a business, but he COULD NOT WRITE AN ESSAY TO SAVE HIS LIFE (everything was awful, from overall structure to nit-picky grammar stuff). And, frankly, that severely hindered his college applications – he didn’t get into two of his first choice schools, and got far less scholarship aid than he might otherwise have expected (he’s very bright, and did well on SATs). I have also found that his younger brother, who tends toward shyness already, has become positively a hermit in the past couple years. He hardly ever interacts with kids his own age. I will be the first to admit that high school was not always fun, but I think it was a valuable experience because I had to learn to deal with lots of different kinds of people. I also think that having different teachers is good for kids, and you don’t have to re-learn trigonometry.
This is not to say, of course, that you will not be a good home-schooling parent, but simply to say that I think you are right to take a long, hard look at whether you want to do it. Sara Ellen is still so small that probably keeping on with your normal practices right now will be a fine educational experience. Read together, practice colors and shapes and numbers, cook together to learn about the existence of fractions and following directions, sing songs and dance, play. That’s what they do in nursery school most of the time anyway. As long as she’s getting lots of human interaction (and I know she is!) she’ll be on track for whatever kind of school you decide on. Good luck!
Thank you both so much for your input. You gave me wonderfully thoughtful perspectives. I really appreciate the help on this issue.