A History of Mothering
While cleaning a closet shelf, my mother found the most beautiful letter. It was written by my great-great grandmother Ellen Bestor Barry (Mona) to her daughter, Ellen Barry Bryden (Moni) after the birth of her daughter, Ellen Bryden (Aunt Er).
As you can see, there are several Ellen’s in my family, seven actually.
Ellen Bestor - great-great-grandmother
Ellen Barry - great-grandmother
Ellen Bryden - great-aunt
Ellen Moorman - mother
Ellen Bryden Surles - second cousin (E. Bryden’s granddaughter)
Ellen Rebekah Helms - myself
Sara Ellen Juliana Altman - my daughter
I think it is such a beautiful tradition sharing a name, especially when we all love motherhood and have breastfed our babies.
The letter mentioned above was written around 1915 and it’s wording is lovely and so evocative of Mona’s joy over [grand]motherhood. I was not able to read it so my mother transcribed it. If anything reads a little odd, it is possibly for that reason.
What follows are my favorite excerpts from Mona’s letter.
Dearest Ellen,
Yours of Nov. 4 came two days ago…such a fine letter telling me so many lovely things about you and the baby but making me more anxious than ever to be with you. Your letters bubbling over with happiness, contentment and joy in having the baby are a constant comfort and joy to me. and while though you have trials and tribulations just the same as everyone else, you know how to bear them cheerfully and uncomplainingly make life much easier for you and all around you. I hope the baby will inherit your cheerful disposition and contented spirit. As you say, those pains which bring the baby are indescribable but the feelings that come over you when you hear that first little cry and finally when the baby is first brought o you and laid by your side is still more indescribable and is worth many times the pain.
From now on, each day she will seem more fascinating and absorbing. Can you understand any mother not willing to give up anything to take care of that darling little thing! You must take very good care of yourself, eat plenty of good plain food, lie down! and rest every day and the baby will thrive.
I can first see that wide open eyes and arms and legs going when she wakes up in the night for a meal and don’t you just love cuddling her up in bed with you! I think she sleeps wonderfully well at night.
I nursed my babies about a year – but began feeding them on something else before I stopped. Of course it depends a good deal upon their teething. As you commenced teething when you were two months of age, I did not have to consider that.
I am glad that you decided upon “Ellen” for her name and that she will be named for both of us. It’s funny how I changed my mind about the name as soon as she arrived. It somehow seems to bring us all closer together. I appreciate your thought of liking to have it named for me but fortunately she is named after both of us and we can both feel proud and happy.
Tell me everything about the baby,
Heaps of love,
Devotedly,
Mother
Mona was actually excited about Moni cuddling with her baby at night and waking for a night-feeding. She also encouraged good plain food and rest. And just because Moni had teeth at two months of age, Mona did not stop nursing and start solids food so early. The end makes me feel so good, that Mona is loving and emotive. What a wonderful history to share.
That is such a wonderful post! It is so amazing to have such a special, female bond and history to share with your own daughter. It is also an awesome way to boost confidence and self esteem as well as “family” values
I love the added family photos!