Confidante
I confide the most in Tim, Sara and Mom. I have people I enjoy seeing here but no close friends. I share the basics of my life with these people but they don’t know me, they don’t respond or listen in a personal way. It’s not their fault, it just often seems more like cataloging the things that are a challenge for us here. By telling friends here things that are going on, I’ve never felt the sense of relief that comes when you share something heavy with someone who loves you. I’ve never been one to have a huge group of friends. I think even people who do have such a regular group only confide deeply with one or two of those people. It’s my guess. Like I said, I haven’t ever had a big group so I wouldn’t know how those who do “operate”. I have always had a few people with whom I shared everything.
Thank goodness for the post and the internet. Starting my senior year in college while Sara studied in England we communicated often by email and since our graduations we have sent real letters back and forth. They have been such blessings to receive way over here. Tim is obviously wonderful and the best thing I have here. Mom and I talk regularly via AIM. Lately we’ve been sharing our frustrations. She can’t get some companies to operate as they should (school books not delivered and new doors never installed or even the order completed) and I have regular growing pains here. It isn’t just my belly which is growing and aches sometimes though she is the one mother I have spoken to speaks of pregnancy and motherhood in a way that suits me and my personality. Sometimes it is just so frustrating when my cheerful nature covers the pains of this particular growth and other mothers feel the need to let me know how hard it is. Maybe they think by my cheerfulness that I’m clueless. I know I’m not experienced yet but coming from a line of happy mothers and always wanting this myself, that gives some perspective and wisdom. I just can’t let it get to me. I know I can’t plan for everything and that often it will be very hard but that doesn’t diminish my happiness at all.
I’m grateful for the job and people who have helped get me out of the apartment. When I first joined the AWC and got my job (via the AWC flyer) I was so eager to get out and even appreciated the 30 minute train to and from work for the time it kept me out. It also often served to sometimes get me to walk around town because I was already out. At this time in my life though, I can’t wait to be surrounded by the people who know and love me!
Please Leave a Comment: